Monday, June 7, 2010

Is it apathy, fear, or what?

I'm down to my last 5 lbs. Stubborn son of a bitches. I can't say that I've been knocking my socks off trying to lose them, but I can't say I've changed anything in the way of food or exercise either. My last weight loss attempt got me within 14 lbs of my goal before I started to digress. So I'm trying to wrap my head around the reason. Not the apparent one of maybe upping the exercise etc., but if I'm afraid of getting to goal. Do I really feel so unworthy that I sabotage myself subconciously? Or am I just slacking off because I've heard a few comments that I don't need to lose anymore.

I don't have a problem accomplishing any goals I've set for myself in the past - as long as they're not weight-related. So, why do not feel the urgency now to finally get to the finishing line, so to speak?

My godchild/niece's wedding is in mid-July and I was so wanting to get to my goal by then. I've bought several dresses for the wedding so I have some choice in what I want to wear. It's more than motivation, or lack thereof, and I can't put my finger on it. Do I fear that if I get to my goal I won't be able to stay there? Or am I afraid that I'll finally realize "is that all there is? - so now what?" I've never been in the position of learning how to maintain my weight, so it would be new territory. Is that it?

Might be a question I have to raise at the next support group meeting. Can anybody relate to this?


  1. it's probably because you look good now and are comfortable with where you are at? 5 lbs from goal is pretty good! Would it be so bad to maintain at your current weight?

  2. Wow - so close to goal...I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I've been at goal and I swear I'll get there again. Be super proud of how far you've come - now finish the task! I know you can!

  3. I call this the 'I'm happy with how far I've come' syndrome. It's certainly a mental thing as it's darn scary to have to face the next and hardest part (especially for yo-yoers), maintenance. If you want it badly enough and can face those fears the WL and goal will come. Hold onto your hat then...maintenance is a new ride!