Thursday, July 8, 2010

What are you?

I got my newsletter from Katie Jay today, and she touched on some things that really ring true for me. I have reprinted it below for all of you...

This week, I want to remind us all about the psycho-logical fare we require on our journey. Because no matter how well we know what we are supposed to do physically, if we can't get ourselves to do it, we aren't going to get very far.

Deep down, most of us know these things need to be addressed, but sometimes we avoid them out of fear or a dislike for discomfort. Still, if we don't consider the truth about long-term recovery, if we don't know what the target looks like from a "mindset" perspective, how can we get there?

Many of the world's great faiths and philosophies teach us that mindset matters. Most of us have heard the verse from the Bible, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

So, here is my top five list of psychological considerations that most of us will need to face on our journeys to peace with food and our bodies:

1. On a long, arduous journey, getting help is not optional -- it's essential.

You'll need a good map, provisions, an emergency kit, a safe place to rest, sustenance, help overcoming obstacles, and insight and encouragement from those who have already made the journey.

2. When your brain chemistry is working against you, your journey will be longer and more challenging, if not impossible.

Knowing where you're going, and having your provisions, won't help if you're too depressed to get up in the morning, or too anxious to move forward. Sometimes medication and/or therapy are needed to help you stay focused and to give you the mental and emotional strength you need to stay on your path.

3. You harbor beliefs that will hold you back, so you'll need to take responsibility for rethinking and replacing the beliefs that don't serve your highest good.

Old beliefs can keep you locked in a story you tell yourself about the journey. Beliefs like, "I can't control my eating," "If I lose too much weight, I will become promiscuous," "Your time and needs are more important than mine," "You are an adult, but I can't trust you to take care of yourself -- so, I am doing it for you," "Exercise is too much work," "I can't live without chocolate," "I don't deserve to succeed," "If I lose too much weight, I'll lose my friends."

4. To create a new you (a you who can withstand the challenges of the journey), you have to be fully present for the planning and implementation process.

When you engage in escapist activities; i.e., overeating, drinking alcohol, gossiping, staying too busy, people pleasing (focusing always on others); you are not present with your own thoughts and feelings -- you're not available to support and encourage your new self.

Learning to tolerate being present with your
uncomfortable thoughts and feelings is the only way you can learn to shift away from discouraging or counterproductive thoughts and become more accepting of your entire emotional palette.

5. To find your truth, your success, your peace ... you have to head toward Reality. Anything else you desire, you'll seek, but never find.

I've heard it put many ways, but the bottom line is the truth WILL set you free -- it is the key ingredient in your recipe for WLS success. You just can't solve a problem if you don't know what it really is.

Counting calories doesn't cure depression and eating protein will not keep you from over-focusing on other people's needs. When we refuse to see the truth, we stumble in the darkness.

Many of us tell ourselves a story about why we are the way we are, but those stories may or may not be based on reality. The process of finding your truth is a critical part of your journey.

WLS is not the easy way out. But there are many ingredients you can add to your WLS recipe to gently move through the psychological, emotional, and social issues that arise as you cook up your yummy life.

Over the next five weeks, I'll discuss each of these five psychological considerations in greater depth.

From Small Bites, the email newsletter for the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Subscribe today and get your F'REE report, How to Regain-proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at (c) 2010 National Association for Weight Loss Surgery, Inc. All rights reserved.

So that brings me to my question? Are you the people pleaser? the busy bee? the gossip? What do or have you done as an escape activity in the past or now?

This is perhaps the hardest part of the journey. Finding your true self. I would rather talk about what I did than tell you my true feelings about it. I am guilty of not being present with my own thoughts and feelings. What the hell am I afraid of?

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