Head games...

The journey...the weight loss journey. Sometimes I feel like it's in my head every waking minute. On many levels, it helps to keep my mind on the right track to read other people's blogs and get on the forums and go to support groups and talk with my sister and sister-in-law about our mutual friend, the band. But there are times when I just want to "check out" a bit and concentrate on something else. Maybe putting my focus on the 12 people we will have over for Thanksgiving will help. With 3 of us being banded, it's more like 10 people since the 3 of us will eat about as much as 1 person.

As I mentioned before, the compliments are always great to hear, but a little uncomfortable when people start asking too many questions. I went over to Mom & Dad's last night to check up on them and the first thing is "turn around - let me see you" from Mom and from Dad "oh, your face is getting so thin, don't lose any more weight". I'm sorry but I'm really close to telling them that my weight and how I look are going to be off limits from now on. Alot of my weight issues stem from my childhood and how I perceive myself due to my parents (and others) comments. I've always been a people pleaser and for some reason never felt like I was "good enough" in the eyes of my parents, especially my father. I was always too fat or too thin or I should do this or do that. You would think at 45 years old those comments would just brush right off, but they don't - they still affect me. Apparently at 183 lbs, I'm getting too thin in my father's eyes. What!??! I just got out of the obese BMI range, I'm wearing 16's and XL's mostly and I'm too thin? And what does my face have to do with it? Geez. It's amazing how those little offhand comments really seem in your brain like they were shouted from the rooftops.

We had our support group meeting last Tuesday and it is such a great group of women. A small group, 5 or 6 usually now, but very supportive and inspiring. I leave the meeting each month with a renewed sense of purpose to lose the weight I want to lose. A local family doctor who is kind enough to allow us to meet in his reception area after work hours stayed around for our meeting and spent and hour and a half with us trying to understand our weight issues and frustrations. He is really interested in trying to heal the whole person and thought he could better counsel his patients who come to him with weight issues if he could really get an insight into our problems with food and how the band is helping us resolve those issues and how it has changed our outlook on food among other things. There was a lady there for the first time who spoke about getting banded at 450 lbs and is now around 230 lbs and she was so amazing to listen to and her personality and upbringing was something to be celebrated. I can't imagine growing up without being judged by your parents and allowed to follow whatever path you decided to choose in life and given that opportunity. She said she never allowed her weight to keep her from doing whatever she wanted in life. When she was 400 lbs, if she wanted to dance, she danced. If she wanted to do anything, she just did and had a kind of "damn the torpedoes" kind of mentality.

Growing up in a small town, hell I always liked to think I didn't give a shit what people thought of me, but when it came right down to it, I did alot of things because of what others thought of me, or what I thought they would think of me. I was the exact opposite of her. I didn't dance when I was 300 lbs, I didn't want to see the disapproving looks or hear the snide comments, so I didn't put myself out there. I sure as hell didn't get into a swimsuit, so a beach vacation was not something I really was ever interested in. My weight kept me from doing alot of things I would have liked to do, and now that I'm getting fairly close to my goal, I find it kind of ironic that when I was at my heaviest, I did my best to try and "blend in". And now, I'm doing the same thing. One of the reasons I wanted the lap band surgery was just to blend in. To be normal. To have my weight be a non-issue. But it seems when I run into people I haven't seen in awhile, it's having just the exact opposite response. On one hand, yes the compliments are great to hear, and on another, it makes me feel like I'm not doing what I want to do and that is "blend in". It's kind of messing with my mind right now. Not that I've fallen off the wagon or anything, I just find myself limiting the places I go so I don't run into people right now while I feel the way I do. It's getting back enough that everytime I see my family or my in-laws I'm hearing about it, but it's like "enough already". I just don't want my weight to define who I am. And the more I hear the comments, the more it validates that feeling that I am what I weigh. And that doesn't sit well with me.

On a lighter note, my sister is coming for Thanksgiving this year...the first time since her kids were little. Since they are both out of the house now, they decided to come for the holiday weekend. I'm really glad I'm going to be able to spend some time with her. She "gets it" - especially what I'm going through now. We are doing the whole traditional turkey, ham, and all the trimmings. I made a turtle cheesecake to go with the pumpkin pie and sugar cream pie for the desserts. (a sample of which is still in my freezer from over 6 weeks ago! - not a tempation at all). I've got a major list of things I want to get done before Thursday that should keep my busy right up until they all get to our house. It's a whole day of cooking, games, TV, and enjoying each other's company.

So for all of you out there, I hope you have a very very HAPPY THANKSGIVING and are able to spend some time with your loved ones. If you choose to indulge, remember a little goes a long way, and most importantly, enjoy the precious moments you have with everyone and take lots of pictures.

And - thanks again for letting me vent.

Some days are stone...

Not much of an eventful weekend. Friday DH and I went to a local chicken fry and then home by 6:30 pm. Whew Whew! Saturday we got up really early and were out the door by 6:30 for some shopping. Ended up running into several of my friends at the mall so that was fun. Picked up 2 pairs of boots and 1 pair of shoes and a LARGE Columbia jacket. Yep, that's a large, not XL, just an L. Felt so good! By the afternoon, it was back to watching the Buckeye's beat Iowa and then we were supposed to go to a retirement party for one of DH's old work buddies, but DH felt really crappy so we stayed home. A baby shower yesterday for one of our nephew's along with a walk at the praire in the morning and that was the extent of our weekend. Oh, and I must confess that we stopped in Covington at the market at the Marathon gas station (Harvest House?) - can't remember the name, but they have the absolute BEST sugar cream pie! Had to get a piece after the hike and before we spent 2 hours raking leaves around the house. Believe me - we worked it off.

Today I had a meeting with all the big wigs at my workplace about the health plan which I had been agonizing about over the weekend. Gave them my recommendations about changing administration, networks and Rx service and keeping the current stop loss contract (even though is was a 48% increase!) and they agreed it was the best course of action. And then it was letting all the parties involved know about the decision which was tough because through no fault of their own, our TPA of 12 years is losing our business and I will miss their professionalism and performance. It all comes down to the $$$ and what's best for not just the company, but the members of the plan too. And I look at it like if it was my money, it was the choice I would have made, so I'm okay with the decision. Now the difficult work begins...

Tomorrow night is our monthly support group meeting for our local bandsters. A local physician is going to join us and try and get into our heads a little bit. He may get his eyes opened!

Being from a small town, I'm starting to get alot of questions and comments about my weight. Lots of compliments, but some flat out questions about how am I losing all that weight and what are you doing type questions. My neighbor even shouted at me across the street on Sunday as we were raking leaves and wondered how I was losing weight (like I was going to shout - I HAD SURGERY!) For some people I choose to share the info, for others that are just being nosy and don't need to know - I just try and avoid the answer. They'll probably find out eventually anyway as nothing in small town America is ever a secret. Not that I'm ashamed of it, I'm not...I just don't feel like I have to explain myself to people I don't feel that particularly close to.

How do you all answer those type of questions? Do you have any great come-backs? I could use some - or even an artful way to dodge the question would be great. I'm open to any suggestions!

Beautiful Weekend...

What a beauty! Temps in the 60's during the day, sunny and mild. Friday night we met up with friends at my favorite pizza place, Bud's, and had fun. Then over to the Wooden Shoe for a nightcap. Yesterday, hubby and I went to Stillwater Prairie Reserve and hiked and kicked up 2 deer along the path. And today, Jerry & Michelle came down and we went to Yellow Springs/Clifton Gorge area. Had to eat the pumpkin pancakes at the Sunrise Cafe, along with a Kobe beef, goat cheese and wild mushroom omelet. Then a long, long hike along the Gorge on a beautiful early afternoon. The boys had to go back to Yellow Springs and grab a beer at Peach's Grill and watch a little bit of the Bengals game. And wouldn't you know it, walking out we are standing outside waiting for Michelle to come out and here comes Dave Chapelle driving up in his new brand new black Land Rover. You know, Comedy Central....Dave Chapelle Show? Yea that one. He has a farm in the Yellow Springs area, but we never dreamed we would ever see him there. Not that we were really looking. Just doing the hiking thing and taking in the eclectic atmosphere of Yellow Springs. So, it was pretty cool seeing him for a short moment anyway. Hate to stalk the celebs.

The scale is moving this week which is always a great thing. I have to admit the weight loss has been much easier for me than alot of people. Don't know why, but believe me I'm not complaining one bit.

Hope everyone enjoyed their wonderful weekend. There are probably so few left around here, so I'll grab everyone I can get!

Time flies...

Wow, I just realized I haven't posted in awhile. Work has been abolutely crazy with alot of time spent at my workstation and playing IT guru to others. It seems the last thing I want to do at night is get out the laptop. Thanks for all the nice comments about the pics. I'm not much of a pic person but I'll try to do better.

Our company bowling outing went well...and I'm glad it's over. This year went off without a hitch and it seemed like everyone had a great time. Lots of prizes and food so all were happy. I boned up on my CPR skills and got recertified for 2 years. My SIL had lap band surgery 8 days ago and is doing well. But the first words out of her mouth afterwards was that "this is a little more involved than it thought!" Uh, yeah it is. You just wait! But seriously, she seems to be hanging in there and is on full liquids right now. So that means my sister and SIL are banded as well as myself. There has to be a good moniker out there for that! Help me out!

My uncle from FL/OH (snowbird) passed away last week and his service was Saturday. It had been 16 years since I've seen his kids (my cousins)...since Grandma passed away. Wow. 4 out of 5 of them I had to introduce myself because they couldn't figure out who I was. Really? I didn't think I changed that much. But in all honesty, I tend to change my hairstyle and the color quite frequently so maybe that was part of it too. I told my hubby if my one cousing didn't have long blonde hair parted in the middle and tucked behind her ears, I would be amazed. And sure enough...the style is still the same. It was been the same hairstyle she has had HER WHOLE LIFE! Where's the adventure? Where's the mystique? It was a sad service and I had trouble getting through it. Not because I was particularly close to my uncle or aunt (hadn't seen them since our wedding over 4 years ago), but because I knew the next time I saw any of them again would probably another funeral. How sad.

Work has been amazingly stressful the past 2 weeks as I am getting quotes for our health plan. We have a self-funded plan whose stop loss carrier just informed us that our rates are increasing 48%! SHIT! I've been entertaining quotes from 3 other brokers on top of the broker/TPA we currently use and the pushy aggressive sales pitch doesn't really work with me. I want results and not lip service. I just agonize over the decision to change plans that affect 350 participants on the plan. It really is hard to balance the needs of the company with the needs of the participants. And as far as the health care bills running through the House and the Senate right now? I sure hope they figure out how to make it affordable to employers...otherwise employers like mine (with participants with major health issues) will no longer be able to afford coverage for their employees, or even be able to get quotes if they don't have a guaranteed renewal contract. We also have some IT stuff going on with a new ERP type system and new workstations that are taking up alot of my time. And this is on top of my regular responsibilities. Where's the Calgon when you need it?

But a bright spot had been the hubby lately. He's been leaving me alot of notes and treats lately. Today, apparently I am the sunshine of his and Stuey's (the cat) life today. And then there is the p.s. of "good luck with that impacted turd". Damn, shouldn't have told him that I've been constipated. Isn't he just the funny guy?

Your request is granted...

Okay, I've always shied away at getting a "full body" shot in pictures, so I'll have to scrounge around the house for some "before" pics and post them later. I took one of these last night (the fuzzy one) and Stuey, the cat, wouldn't stay away from me, so I took another one today. Kind of feel silly doing it but hey, I'm pretty upbeat these days with all the compliments. And I'm feeling pretty good. So, here goes...

I'm officially "Overweight"...

YES!!! Can't call me obese anymore! My weight has finally dropped to the point where I'm just considered 'overweight'. It has been a mini-goal of mine to get to this point so I feel rather good about myself today. We even went out with friends Saturday night for dinner and I had fries with cheese & chorizo (not much into Mexican). So I'm still enjoying myself occasionally but I'm eating so much more healthier than I ever have in my life and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. My SIL has struggled with her weight over the years and really feels that she needs to tackle the emotional/mental aspects of why she eats before looking at any WLS. And while that is the hardest part of the journey, I have to admit that BECAUSE I've had lap band surgery, I'm able to deal with those issues more easily than I did before. I like the fact that I can go on a vacation and gain only 3-5 lbs instead of 15. That the fact that I have to eat slow forces me to pay attention to what I am putting in my mouth and if I'm even hungry.

For the first time in my life, I've had 2 different kinds of cheesecakes (one of my fav's), in my freezer for about a month and haven't had any. Just not that interested. Before WLS, both of them would have been gone within a week. I've lost alot of interest in many of the foods I couldn't stay away from before. Which is the biggest benefit I've had from the surgery other than the actual weight loss. One of these days I'm going to put up some pics and hopefully allow myself to see the progess I've made. The problem is I have body dismorphic disorder. I can never seem to really guage what I actually look like unless I see myself in a picture. I have fun mirrors in my house, because I never thought I looked that bad until I saw a picture of myself. Then it was like, Holy Shit! Is that really what people see?

DH and I have been trying to take in the fall colors by hiking at the local prairie as much as possible. Right now the colors are in the prime and the temperature is in the high 50's to low 60's...just perfect for a nice hike.

The weekend ended up not being as relaxing as we would have liked. Hubby's dad ended up in the hospital on Wednesday, so Thursday we went to see him and then by Saturday he was back home so we checked up on him then also and afterwards went out for dinner with friends. Our big Friday night consisted of grabbing a bite to eat and getting groceries (along with everyone else in Shelby County). Which by the way reminded me of a gal in front of me a few weeks ago at our local Kroger's who was checking out with a cartful of groceries. I stayed behind her since I wasn't in a hurry and watched as she gave the clerk a stack of coupons and ended up owing 25 cents. That's right, 25 CENTS!!! I told her I wouldn't have believed unless I had seen it. I'm happy if I save $15 (not much of a coupon user), but a whole cart for a quarter? Boy I'd like to know her secret!

Anyway, back to the grindstone today. I'll try and post some pictures one of these days for posterity. I'm just afraid I'll realize I'm still a big fat toad when I'm thinking I don't look too bad. Oh well, by next summer, I should be looking pretty good regardless.

A little relief...finally!

Okay, okay. I guess I was a little too tight, because now, I feel great. It's amazing what just a couple of lbs will do to make things better. I got my last fill on Aug. 1st and I felt pretty good for about 6 weeks. Then the one and only pb episode...followed by several more instances of tight band days. The weekend before this past, we went to Nashville IN for the weekend and then onto the OSU-Indiana game in Bloomington. Wouldn't you know that whole time we're out with friends, my band puckers and has a temper tantrum. Out to eat a couple of times and each time I had to box it up when I could and bring it back to the room. Of course I ended up eating crap during the tailgating since all those goodies went down fine. Frustrating weekend food-wise, but had alot of fun with friends. Always enjoy "little" Nashville, the artsy shops and lovely landscape. Great little town to hang out.

We stopped in Columbus IN on the way down and spent a few hours shopping at the premium outlets. Needless to say, I did very well. The first store...GAP. It's been years since I've even stepped foot in the store, but I honestly didn't know what size I was in misses. The pants I usually buy don't come in a lower size in Women's so I'm off to the misses departments to figure out what brands fit well. Found a great pair of jeans at the GAP and also 3-4 pair at the Lee/Vanity Fair outlet. I could kick myself for not buying another pair of the trouser jeans I bought there. Just the kind Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear would say to buy. I was afraid that they wouldn't wash up well since they were only $21, but they washed great with just a light touch of an iron to get the major sharp crease back. Crap. I'll have to scavenge the malls around here to see who might carry that particular style I guess. Got lots of great things, new belts, lower rise jeans, sweaters, shoes (the credit card was smokin'). But hey, I don't get to shop much and my rationale was I just got rid of several bags full - I needed some clothes that fit!

This past weekend we went to Columbus Ohio to a party my OSU senior nephew was having. His annual OSU Buckeye party. Also, met up with our friends from the week before and celebrated Steve's 50th birthday at Ruth's Chris and stayed overnite. First we went to pick up Derek at Otterbein College, then went to some other friend's daughter's OSU house for lunch and check out her place. Typical overpriced college house. She ended up only being 1/2 block away from my nephew's place so it worked out great! Then my friend Patty and I snuck away during the game and "took a walk" to the nearest outdoor Mexican place and treated ourselves to a couple of margaritas. We called my sister-in-law to meet us and she snuck away from the party too. After the party, we checked into our hotel and changed and met up with our friends for the birthday celebration. The hotel, Homewood Suites, was one of the better ones I've stayed in recently. Very spacious...I wished we were staying more than 1 night. And what can I say about Ruth's Chris, it's just the best. I could have cut my filet mignon with a fork. I truly think they have the best steaks anywhere I've ever been. Plus the bonus, the plates are heated to 500 degrees so your steak isn't cold by the time you are done eating. Great for bandsters!

Hubby says we're going to have to stay home the next couple of weeks to get ready around the house for the winter. I agree. I need time to decompress and focus on "us" for awhile.

Gracie girl (the stray who found her way back) is about ready to have her kittens. And get this, I go out about 7:30 am this morning to feed her, and I look up before I walk out onto the deck, and there is a deer about 40 feet from me. Now mind you, we live in town. Imagine my surprise when I see a big, big doe staring right at me. We had our moment of sizing each other up. I knew by the time I went and got my camera it would be gone, so I just stared at it for about a minute before I opened the back door and it trotted of toward the edge of the cornfield next to us. Gracie just stared at the deer looking as stunned as I was. Wow, what a great way to start the morning. Had to leave a note for hubby about it this morning otherwise he wouldn't have believed me.

Now that my band has been more cooperative the past few days, I am realizing that this is the restriction where I need to be. I'm hoping it will stay this way for awhile longer, since the idea of another fill right now is the furthest from my mind. And recently, my cousin found out her port/tubing was leaking and needs to get it replaced. She is not happy and rightly so. So, that is always in the back of my mind that with every fill comes the possibility that there could be a puncture and more surgery (and more money). The lbs are coming off, ever so slowly. But I feel good and I look much better and the compliments are nice. So, I'll take each day as it comes. 5 more lbs and I'll officially just be considered "overweight" instead of "obese". That will be a nice change and a nice mini-goal.

Easy weekend...

Easy enough anyway. Friday night hubby and I went to the German Heritage Festival for a bite and listen to some of the music. Didn't stay real long since the weather was cold and damp. Had a nice hearty potato soup that was amazingly good due to the weather. I also got an apple dumpling and couldn't even touch it since I was full of soup. Afterwards, we went to my parent's house and played cards. Mom ate most of the dumpling, I had maybe 3 bites and was done. Better off anyway.

Hubby roped me into going to his brother's house in St. Mary's to watch the Buckeye game Saturday. They were having a "block" party and had their big TV outside on the patio. Pretty much pissed the whole day away from what I was intending to do. So on Sunday, I did about 6 loads of laundry and baked most of the day. I had found a turtle cheesecake recipe in the Taste of Home magazine that I was dying to make and try out as a dessert for Thanksgiving. I also wanted to make a pumpkin swirl cheesecake and perfect it from the last time I made it a couple of weeks ago. Oh, and ice cream, I have to admit I made some ice cream.

Well, both cheesecakes were to die for. I tried the pumpkin swirl that evening and it was great. The turtle cheesecake I had a small serving yesterday and brought both to work. Got rave reviews and a couple of recipe requests. Amazingly, even though I have all this stuff in my house, after I sampled both I'm not really interested in having any more. Before the band, all bets were off and I would have polished at least 1/2 of one of those cheesecakes off already. My desire for snacks and treats have definitely waned. Not at first, but after a few months I've really lost alot of the urges to eat any crappy foods. Not that I'm a master of healthy choices, just that it's more important to me to eat right at least 80% of the time. I actually had 1 tablespoon of ice cream last night and that was enough. The last batch I had to throw out because I didn't eat it within a couple of weeks and hubby isn't much of the sweet eater. Wow, this band has kicked my butt. In a good way. I can resist things I never would have resisted before the band and it doesn't seem to matter if they are in the house...the exception being Lay's Potato Chips and dip. My sister-in-law asked my husband what he was going to get me for our anniversary and then she said that all he had to do was smother himself with chip dip and roll around in some Lay's potato chips and I'd be happy. (She was pretty close to being right about that!). Luckily, he decided to give me flowers.

Last night I went through my closet again and ended up with 3 garbage bags worth of mostly dress clothes and about 15 dresses and suits. I just got rid of a bunch of clothes a month or so ago to the local Catholic "goodwill" store (FISH). Looks like they will be getting a bunch more pretty soon. It's a great feeling to be able to get rid of some of this stuff and say 'never again'. I tried a suit on I wore for my parent's 50th wedding anniversary 4 years ago and it was bigger than when I wore it to their party. Hubby said to keep it, but I said I don't plan to be in this size next spring and put it on the donation rack. I'm going to want some smokin' hot stuff next spring honey!

Anniversary...4 years or as my husband says "feels like 8"

Yesterday was our 4 year anniversary. Dozen roses from the hubby...YES! I love flowers. It was a pretty mellow anniversary. Neither of us felt like going out since we went out to dinner with his family the night before for his parents 57th anniversary. So we got a pizza from the local restaurant and watched TV since the weather was crappy.

A few days ago, our beloved Gracie Girl came back to visit. Back in July, we took her and her kittens to a farm a little over 3 miles from our home. We thought she would have a better life there than in town outside around the school traffic and the elements. Her kittens were around 10 weeks when we brought her and her kittens out there. It was tough because we really took a liking to Gracie. But we have Stuey and he is king of the castle and likes it that way. Hubby and I were taking a walk down by the new school track and we saw a gray tiger running away. I told hubby that it looked like Gracie Girl and yelled her name. Well, she stopped and turned around. I yelled her name again and she began walking toward me and meowing. We both dropped our jaws that it was her. Not sure why she came back because I know she was getting fed at the farm and she had a great barn and hayloft to hang out in with no other animals at the place. But, she is now back and hanging out in the cornfield next to our house. We think she's pregnant again. She eats more than Stuey ever did and he is twice the size of her. Not sure what we are going to do with her, but it's nice to know she liked us enough to come back.

Amazingly, the pizza we had last night did not show up on the scale. This morning I actually weighed 1 1/2 lbs less than yesterday. It was a nice surprise. This weekend we are planning on going to a local Germanfest. Hubby will get to try his different beers and eat German food. I think his brother and his wife are coming up tonight for the food. His wife is originally from Germany and loves any type of German heritage festivals around the area. Since most of this area is drenched in 'krauts, myself included, she has no problem finding places to go.

The OSU Buckeye game is on at 3:30 Saturday, so I don't know if we'll watch is somewhere or watch it at the Germanfest with the crowd. Hubby MUST watch his beloved Buckeyes, believe me, I heard about it when our wedding was actually the same day as a Buckeye game. Luckily, it wasn't the Michigan game or anything, he probably wouldn't have showed up:)

Being stuck isn't much fun...

I didn't realize I haven't posted in quite some time. A alot has been going on of late, with our local festival over and trying to finish up the bookkeeping for that. The weight loss center where I had my procedure done is trying to establish a support group for us "up north". When I showed up it was just myself and another girl, but boy did we have alot to talk about. She has been banded for about 15 months and has lost almost 140 lbs. We talked for almost 2 hours and it really felt good to find a "comrade" in this journey so close to home. I came away with a renewed sense of commitment to this banded life and look forward to getting together again as I feel this will just give me an added monthly boost to focus on doing the right things.

Hubby and I went down to my brother and sister-in-laws camper in Brookville, IN recently for a day. My brother-in-law from Wisconsin came down to spend a few days and relaxed at the camper for most of the time. He was also in town to see how the in-laws are doing for my sister's benefit. It sounds like they may come down for Thanksgiving this year which will be really nice. It's so rare when we are able to spend holidays together anymore.

I attended the state human resource conference last week to try and keep up my certification credits for recertification next year. Lots of sessions, information overload and tired butt are pretty much the norm. The event was held in Sandusky for 3 days and on day 2 I ended up getting sick on some food at the conference. Barely made it to the bathroom. I had been tight for a few days, but never had problems getting down food until Thursday. I proceeded to throw up plegm for the next 2 hours back at the hotel room and was concerned...because at that point there was no way I was even going to try getting liquids down. I ended up calling the doctor's office and the doc called me back about 1/2 hour later. I asked him how long I should let this go before I should be concerned, and he said I could come in that night for an unfill. After I told him I was in no position to drive and that I was about 4 1/2 to 5 hours away, I let him know that if things didn't improve by the morning I would drive down somehow and get an unfill. Luckily, I only threw up about 2 more times after I spoke with him and began to feel better little by little. When I thought the worst of it was over, I trekked over to Walmart and got a 4-pack of protein shakes for the next day. I was able to sip water the rest of the night with no problem and Friday was able to drink the protein shakes and a few crackers. My first and only stuck episode...I think I'll start really listening to my body next time. That was horrible...

I took it pretty easy this weekend eating soft foods to let my stomach calm down and I still feel restriction, but don't think the band has moved so that's good. My hometown has a fall festival and I went with my parents while hubby watched the Buckeye game with some friends. We went out to dinner later that evening and were in bed by 10pm. Wow - are we getting old or what?

I was pretty bummed yesterday when I found out over the weekend that my beloved Little Nashville Opry in Nashville IN burnt to the ground this past weekend. I have been there over 2 dozen times over the years seeing different country music entertainers and have some really good memories or girl weekends, weekends with my husband, and meeting the "stars". Gosh, I remember seeing the likes of Toby Keith, Statler Brothers, Randy Travis, Steve Wariner, T. Graham Brown, Glen Campbell, Diamond Rio, Billy Dean, Suzy Bogguss, John Berry, Sawyer Brown, Gary Morris, Lee Greenwood, Charlie Daniel's Band, Eddy Raven, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Hal Ketchum, and a few more that escape me right now. It was always my favorite place to go to see a show because you could get a good seat if you got tickets the day they went on sale. It is also a great weekend getaway to do a little sightseeing at Brown County State Park and go into town and see all the local artists' work. We are going down there in a few weeks and staying so I'll have to check out the ruins and see what I can find out about if the owners are going to rebuild. So sad...

Gurgle...Gurgle

My band and I have come to an understanding lately. If I choose to eat too fast, it will stick a ball in my gut and tell me NO MORE OR ELSE! Then I have to wait until I belch (quietly) or my throat gurgles enough to let some air out, or beat on my chest like an ape. If I didn't catch the signal in time, then I'm miserable for 5-10 minutes spitting into the sink feeling like whatever I just ate is coming back to haunt me. If I treat it well, it stays pretty quiet and we get along fine. It sure doesn't like it when I'm in a hurry or stressed. And it doesn't like cold beverages. It will tighten up like a pouting child and remind me to slow down.

The rules of a banded life: treated it kind of like your partner. Be patient, kind, work with it, be adaptable, and respectful. For a little aggravation, you get a priceless return on your investment - the gift of better health!

The nurse at the weight loss center likens the gurgling to the sounds of Chewbacca. It is quite embarassing to be talking to someone and you emit the noise of an alien. I guess not everyone experiences this, but those of us that do, it's hard to disguise.

I have to go to a conference in a couple of weeks and I am dreading having to sit in seminar after seminar for 3 days emitting strange noises. I'll have to time my beverages and meals a little better during that time to avoid the problem.

Otherwise, the process is going pretty smoothly. I can lose 3-4 lbs in one week and then not lose a lb the next, but overall it's progessing. I cleaned out my closets over the weekend and hubby and I took 6 garbage bags plus 2 more bags full of clothes to the local FISH store (sort of like a Catholic Goodwill). Now I need some new going out clothes.

And the cycle continues...

Hubby, girlfriends and family...

Well the past 2 weeks have been eventful at least. Hubby went to see the cardiologist and scheduled him for a heart cath the same week. The doc ended up keeping him overnight in the hospital since he probed a vessel of one of his arteries pretty thoroughly. Apparently, he has a branch off an artery that is getting squeezed between 2 chambers of his heart with every heartbeat, not completely shutting off flow, but definitely narrowing. At this time, he changed his meds and is going to treat it with medication to keep his heart rate and blood pressure low. A few days after the heart cath, his pulse and bp were even higher, so back to the cardiologist for another change in meds. He was off work for a week and missed his fishing trip to Canada with friends and his brother. Wasn't very happy about that. But he wouldn't let me cancel my girls getaway over it. He went back to his family doc this past week when his counts were still elevated and she upped his meds, but seriously it hasn't helped much. Sounds like another change in meds is in his future.

My girlfriends and I went to Columbus for a 2-day getaway on Thursday and Friday. We lined up a package of a hotel room and massage and pedicure for 4 near the Polaris mall and had a wonderful time! For 3 of us, we were virgins at pedicures. And dear Michelle had never had a massage either, so she was a little nervous. But all in all, a wonderful time. Went to dinner Thursday night and my niece and her friend also met us since she lives near Dublin/Upper Arlington. On Friday, we went shopping and got home around dinner time. We all talked like this may have to be an annual event. It certainly was much needed after the last couple of weeks.

Saturday we went to visit hubby's folks and had pizza at Bud's with my folks. Afterwards, we dropped by some friends to see if they wanted to go to Brucken's for a drink. Didn't have to twist their arm much. But we were home by 10:30 pm, so it wasn't a late night by any means.

Today, I decided to make a Sour Cream Peach Pie for my dad....who loves peach pie and custard-type pies so I figured it to be a no-brainer. It is actually quite good if I say so myself.

Chatted with my sister on Facebook this afternoon for a little while and caught up on some family stuff. Lots of drama going to these days with job losses and new babies and job-realignments.

Our little village is getting ready for it's annual festival in a few weeks and I've got alot to keep track of this year, so I'm getting my feet wet trying to learn the ropes. So far, not too bad. We'll see how that weekend goes. It raises alot of money for the local parish and always has a great turnout. Should be an interesting weekend.

E/R yet again...

Hubby still not feeling well...last Thursday he wanted to go BACK to the emergency room for chest pain, nausea, radiating left arm pain, jaw numbness/tingling. They kept him for about 3 hours and then sent him home. Nothing is showing up. Friday he had his follow-up with the family doc for the last time he went to the E/R. She spent about 50 minutes with him and won't rule out a heart problem. I like her. She has only seen him a few times since we transferred him over to her a few months ago. She's an internal medicine specialist and very thorough and seems to listen very well. She doesn't seem to get frustrated that the issue hasn't been found, but says that since he hasn't been feeling well, we may be missing something and ordered more tests. She also referred him to a different cardiologist that he is to meet with today.

As far as the lap band goes, I got my fourth fill about 10 days ago and WHAM! I now know what restriction feels like! Wow! It really forces you to slow down eating and it really cut down my portion size for sure. Interestingly, since my visit I've actually lost 6 lbs! The weight is melting off and even though I've had a few uncomfortable moments when eating too fast, I think things are going rather well. Saturday night, we went to Red Lobster for some seafood and I made the mistake of ordering a Raspberry Lemonade and started to eat a cheddar bay biscuit (just the crusty part, not the doughy inside). Cold liquids are always harder for me to get down since my fill and with the bread - well let's just say I felt quite rough for about 25 minutes. Once things settled down I was able to eat a couple of shrimp and a small lobster tail and some crabmeat, but very slowly and swallow itty bitty pieces at a time. Mental note - no more bread until the END of the meal and No liquid period!

This past weekend we took it pretty easy and stayed close to home. Friday night, hubby went up to the ball diamond to watch the tournament and some of my old friends from high school were up there - so - I walked up there and we caught up on alot of happenings. It was great to see them. It had been since Christmas time since I had seen either of them and they noticed I had lost quite a bit of weight and asked what I was doing. So, I ended up telling them I had surgery. I can't say I've publicized it, but I don't want to lie about it either. Even though they like to talk and it will probably migrate among our friends, I don't want them thinking I'm ashamed of having it done. I guess I look at it like, I have a problem, I'm working on fixing the problem and this is a step in the process that will help me resolve the problem. The one friend is a nurse and she knows more about it than the other friend, but both were supportive and did not judge my decision, so that was nice. They both know my struggles with weight and they both have had their ups and downs too, so they can relate.

I'm taking a late lunch to go with hubby today to his appointment and meet his new cardiologist. We're hoping he can shed some light on what the issue may be. I really hate to think this is something he has to live with. He's only 48 and this has been going on now 5 years. It really affects how much he wants to do and although he tries to keep upbeat, it's really hard when you just don't feel well. He's such a wonderful person - I just wish he would be free from his pain and be able to enjoy life the way it should be.

Just when you think things are calm...

Hubby ends up in the hospital. For 4-5 years now he's had classic heart attack symptoms...radiating left arm pain, numbness/pain in his jaw, headaches, nausea, downright chest tightness. About 10 days ago I took him to the E/R since his doc was out of town on a friday afternoon and he had been getting headaches for about 3 days straight, jaw pain, chest tightness, and his blood pressure was high. After about 3 hours in the E/R his heart rate was in the normal range and his heart rate around 50-60 beats/minute and feeling much better. He followed up with this doc about a week later and she adjusted his meds. Now 4 days later, feeling crappy he went in to see her again. She didn't like the reading of his EKG and sent him to the E/R to get blood work and monitored and they ended up keeping him overnight. Trekked on over there in the afternoon to check on him and have Dad pick up the other car and he's feeling just like he always is...crappy but no worse than normal, which was better than in the morning. They continued to take bloodwork every 3 hours, but dismissed him this morning saying they don't think it's his heart. WTH is it?????

This has been going on for so long...he's had 4-5 stress tests, 2 overnight stays in hospitals, several E/R visits, seen 2 different cardiologists, an internal medicine specialist is his primary care physician, and had everything short of a heart cath done and they find nothing to show it being heart-related. He does have nerve damage in his left leg and arthritis near his left rib cage, but apparently his heart his healthy. It has been an extremely frustrating experience. I hate to see him to through the rest of his life feeling as bad as he does. I guess next up will be to get his shoulder taken care of since it seems like that has been bothering him lately. I'm just really afraid that one of these days he's going to keel over and then it's "Oh, I guess it was his heart after all" from all the providers and then do their best to cover their ass. I just want him to FEEL BETTER!!

Sorry for the rant...

Gracie and her kittens are still with us, however, tonight they get to go to their new home. I told hubby that we need to get her there and fast, because old "orange and white" has been literally sniffing around her behind to see if she's in heat. Tonight my friend Gerry is taking them to his Dad's farm where they will have a nice big barn and plenty of room to roam. They will be the only cats there and his dad will feed them everyday. That was part of the deal, otherwise hubby said he couldn't have them. Must treat Gracie like a princess. She's special.

This weekend will be a nice change of pace from the past couple of weekends. Hubby and I will go down to West Chester for a fill on Saturday, and then he will no doubt go to Bass Pro for fishing supplies to stock up for his trip. Other than that, sounds like most of the weekend is pretty open so we can do as we please. We'll probably have to do a little shopping this weekend since I need a dress for a wedding in a couple of weeks and Mom and Dad's 54th wedding anniversary is coming up. But I'm going to try and stay home as much as possible to get some things done around the house. We've had alot of "family" stuff going on recently...reunions and such, that we don't have to do too much "visiting" over the weekend. Down time is the best...

Family time and such

Our cat, Stuey, had his annual shots and rabies vaccine last night. I told the vet that each year his reaction to the meds gets progressively worse, so he gave him an antihistamine. Poor thing is still under the weather, although he did eat something last night so that made me feel better. Stuey is a grey tiger...14+ pounds and very tall. Great cat, but I'm partial since he's my first pet. The stray, Gracie, and her kittens are still in the back yard. Hubby and I talked last night about it being time to round them up and take them to the farm. Hubby still thinks the young ones need another week. They are really too-cute and alot of fun. We have an umbrella over the bush they chose and a plastic bin with a blanket next to it with a lid overhang for shelter from any rain. You can't say that hubby doesn't have a soft heart for a stray.

Sunday was my mother-in-law's side of the family, family reunion in Burkettsville. A little burg with a church, a bar, a restaurant and not much else. It was a nice time and it was great to see the slide show of when the in-laws were young. He really has a terrific family and they get together quite frequently even though some have to drive a few hours. This friday is the Lake Festival in Celina, so his Mom & Dad are inviting my family over for the fireworks display. We'll hopefully get to see the amphi-cars go into the lake at least once over the weekend.

Hubby and his buddies played poker Saturday night at his buddy's house. Some of his friends that he doesn't get to see much came and played so it was fun for everyone. Jesse, Michelle and I took the time to look into a spa day while the guys are fishing in August. A simple overnight with a massage and pedi and then some shopping the next day. Can't wait. We never did anything like that before as a group so it should be a blast. Although it's kind of hard to find a place that doesn't charge an arm and a leg for 1 night accomodations and a little spa treatment.

This Saturday we are taking my hubby's not-so-little-anymore friend, D-Rock, out to celebrate his graduation from high school. Hubby used to date his mother years ago when he was 2 years old until he was about 8. They have always kept in touch and spent time together, so he wanted to do something special for him for his graduation. D-Rock is going to Otterbein in the fall so he's going to be experiencing alot of changes and freedom in the next few years. What a great young man. There are 8 of us going to a local restaurant to celebrate. We only get to see D once every month or so these days, so it will be nice to spend some time with him before he leaves for college.

I made an appointment this morning for another fill in my band. Not that I don't enjoy being able to eat anything I want, it's just that I feel like I am having to "diet" too much to lose any weight and that is not what the purpose of the band is for. I need to get a little more restriction to keep me from snacking and also cut down the portion size. Although I continue to lose weight, I've only lost about 4 lbs this month in total and would like to see a more significant weight loss that is sustainable. We'll see how this fill goes.

Long time - no post

Back from vacation...back to work. My hubby and I rented a lake house with my sister and her husband last week near Prairie du Sac, WI. The intent was to do a little fishing, sightseeing and relaxing along with catching up and seeing the nephews and their significant others. It is a beautiful area with gorgeous scenery. Bluffs, rolling hills and neat, clean farms dotting the fields. Both Prairie du Sac and Sauk City have around 3000 people or so each, so they are the kind of towns I'm used to.

The fishing turned out to be horrible. One of the locals told us he heard that the fish stopped biting around 10 days before we arrived. My sister and her hubby brought their boat along so we went on Lake Wisconsin a few days to try our luck with no success. Otherwise, we would fish off our dock on Fish Lake and catch the little pan fish, or go paddle boating or using the aluminum fishing boat provided. It was a nice time to try and read a book as there were very few TV stations, much to my husband's dismay.

We took in the local eateries and found some wonderful places along the way. A particular favorite was the Green Acres Restaurant. It seemed like every time we went by there were quite a few cars no matter what day it was. They are known for their steaks, however, I can grill a mean steak and very few places that we go really rival what we can do at home (Morton's maybe, Ruth's Chris - likely). I chose the seafood platter and what a coup! Shrimp as big as I've ever eaten, lobster tail, bacon-wrapped scallops that melted in your mouth, crab legs and fish fillets. My hubby ended up helping me eat it, but wow it was the best. Blue Spoon Cafe was a great place to catch a breakfast and get free Wi-Fi. The Mason Grill & Pub had great food, and the Press Box was a nice place to grab a beer.

On the days when the weather was crappy, we went to Madison, Baraboo, Plain, & the Dells. Visited the local Wollersheim Winery near Prairie du Sac (beautiful by the way). Shopping at the outlet stores in the Dells - so fun. My sister and I both had stupid smiles on our faces as we walked around feeling good about the incredible deals we found. Coach purse for $68, Naturalizer shoes for less than $20 apiece, etc. In Madison, we went to the Essen Haus that our nephew spoke highly of. Lots of beers on tap and available in bottles. My husband is a kind of a beer "snob" in that he likes to try new and different beers. We had dinner there the last night of our stay with my nephew and his wife. My other nephew and his girlfriend stayed with us for 3 days at the house/cabin and it was good to see them too. Lots of changes going on in the family. My nephew's wife is starting her 3-year of medical school and my other nephew is having a baby this fall. It was nice to be able to spend time with them since they are both on their own now.

When we were gone, I asked my parents to check on the house every day and feed the cat since we decided to leave him home this year instead of boarding him at a friends. Dad also had instructions to feed the stray cat "Gracie" a can of wet food if she was around, otherwise leave some dry food out and water. Imagine our surprise when we got back and Gracie had brought all of her 4 kittens over to live at our house behind the deck. She must have had quite a journey bringing each one over...it's a long way from the barn at school where she had them. They look like 2 sets of twins, however, 1 of each twin is a runt. They are almost 6 weeks old, but the runts only look the size of a 3 week old. They are too-cute.

We contacted a lady that runs a cat rescue in St. Marys, but she already has over 100 cats and kittens she is trying to place and doesn't have any room. So, I asked a couple of guys at work and one of my friend's Dad is going to take Gracie and the kittens in a week of two on his farm. He needs some cats and I would like to keep them together. I told my hubby we need to get out of the stray cat-feeding routine because we are just going to compound the problem. I'd love to keep Gracie, but our cat would not get along with her well I'm afraid. I only want 1 cat in the house and right now we are keeping our cat, Stuey, inside all the time since the kittens are around. Not fair to him. But I hate to see Gracie go, she is such a loving small mama.

I met with my lap band doctor a couple of weeks ago by surprise...he was in the office that Saturday doing the office visits. He said I was going wonderful and recommended no adjustment that day as I was losing at least 2 lbs a week with no adverse effects or issues. I don't need to come back until I feel like I'm in need of an adjustment.

When we were on vacation, I actually gained 2 1/2 lbs due to all the "going out to dinner" episodes and grazing during the day. But it came off within 2 days and it's nice to get back to my routine. I was pleasantly surprised it was only 2 1/2 lbs. Last year when we went to Maine, I gained 16 lbs in 12 days. So, the band it definitely helping and as long as I make better food choices, the weight is coming off just fine. Slow and somewhat steady, but the scale is moving in the right direction and that is always an "upper".

Are your feeling Hot, Hot, Hot???

Wow...I took the convertible and drove to visit my folks last night for a bit and at 6:50 pm it was 94 degrees with no sun. Aghhhh! Mind you, I don't much care for hot/humid weather. When you're going 55 in the convertible, it's not too bad...in fact it has to be about 77 degrees outside before you can even say your comfortable with the top down. But 94 is 94 and it's HOT! Nothing like getting up and your "behind" is soaked.

Mom & Dad were pooped from spending the day at Bear Creek Farms and watching a (taste of) Branson show. Hubby lost his "cheaters" (reading glasses) in their chair last week and I wanted to pick them up and of course also see the folks.

My sister e-mailed me and said she is still getting used to her new haircut she got Wednesday. I didn't tell her I got mine whacked off too. Everybody seems to have an opinion on it. My mother, well let's just say she didn't like it longer because I'm too "old" for long hair, and now that I got it cut, "oh, it's so short". I can't win. My hair was layered down to my shoulders as I've been trying to grow it out for over a year with little success. My thin, fine, stringy hair and hot/humid weather don't mix and no amount of volumizing shampoo/rootlift/hairspray makes a difference so "off" it went. I'll admit it's pretty short, but so-o-o much better!

I was reading on lapbandtalk.com about a post that posed the question "lap band vs. sleeve" with the poster wanted member's opinions on the 2 WLS surgeries. Wow did it get ugly! For all the support you can get and questions answered on the forum, the responses to that post show just how petty, mean and confrontational members can be and one of the main pitfalls of the forum. I mean, I go there for support, knowledge, to see what issues members may be having with the lap band and offer the support I can pass on to someone else. It seems like you have to be very careful how you word something lest you offend someone and/or they misunderstand you. There are a couple of "posters" that seem to have their "hairs up" about something all the time and I would just like it if they went to another forum. Most of them have had trouble with their bands and converted to bypass or sleeve and spout about all the problems the band creates. In my opinion, it is their experience and not the "norm". To antagonize people for a difference of opinion or misunderstanding is just plain rude and unnecessary. You can clarify by being respectful, you don't have to incite.

Sorry for the rant. That kind of behavior just pisses me off.

Saturday I get my fourth fill and my sister-in-law is going with me. We plan to make a day of shopping down in the area since we both like Dillards and Jungle Jim's. I was feeling okay about getting another fill until about 5-6 days ago when my band seemed to tighten up. I'm not able to eat as much and really have to eat slow the first solid food I eat of the day to "prime" my stomach for food. Last night, I woke up and tried to shift in my sleep and I had some water come back up in my mouth. It was weird to say the least, especially since I didn't have anything to drink for an hour before bed. I'm going to talk with the nurse tomorrow and go over a few things about being tighter in the morning and also the last few days and see what she thinks. If I get a fill, it won't be much I guarantee. She'll probably leave it up to me. One of the "posters" said something this week about that they were tight too with the hot/humid weather. Odd. I didn't think weather would make any difference, but apparently for some people it does. Some say the barometric pressure causes changes to the tightness of their band, or the time of the month, or stress, illness, etc. This is the first I've experienced it. I guess I'll see what she says. I just don't want to have problems, and I've been losing great the last week. We'll see...

The turtle and the scale...

At 44 years of age, I feel like I know my body pretty well. I know when something feels a little off, and when I'm not running on all 6 cylinders. I can be cruising on the scale and seemingly everyday it's going down 1/2 lb or so. And then the dreaded PMS begins...profound fatigue, migraines, weight gain, and well, the grumps. Seems to happen right when you need reassurance that what you're doing is working. It usually takes me about 5-7 days before I begin to feel back to normal and the scale starts agreeing with me again. I feel like I live and die by that thing but I can't stand to only jump on the scale once a week. The migraines...well that's another story. One that I would have hoped would be a thing of the past, but they still come. Luckily, my physician wrote an Rx a couple of years ago for Relpax and that has been my lifesaver. Since the surgery, I haven't dared to take any kind of pain reliever other than liquid ibuprofen, but the Relpax is like heaven in a pill. Just magic. Amazing how something that used to consume my life is now no more than a nuisance at best.

I've been trying to eat better and am succeeding pretty much during the week. Even my husband is liking some of the things I'm putting together. He wiped me out of the little quiches I froze for breakfast or a quick lunch, and I think he's been dipping into my homemade trail mix (he'd never admit to eating Kashi out loud). I've been trying to politely point out some of the "not so good" foods that I need to try and limit. Like the ham steaks...way too much sodium. The trail mix he bought from Walmart for vacation...not so good, about 906 calories for a 6 ounce bag. But, since he usually makes dinner so I don't like to pick too much. Just make him more aware.

I've been kind of on a kick with the trail mix though. I find myself eating it every day! My own version is about 1 part dry-roasted peanuts, 1 part chocolate chips, and 3 or 4 parts Kashi Go-Lean cereal. The Kashi is only about 140 calories a cup with 13 grams of protein and 40% of the recommended daily fiber, peanuts are another protein and well the chips....not so much, but hey, we all need a little sweetness! Heck of alot healthier than what you can buy and amazingly good. Or my taste buds are just changing I don't know. I'm liking the WASA crackers too that the weight loss centers' nurse told me about. With cream cheese, it's a nice snack.

This weekend my nephew and his wife are driving down from Madison to stay at my folks house for the weekend. We are all going to a benefit for a cousin on my Dad's side of the family on Saturday that is suffering from Chronic Myeloid Leukemia. He's my age and it doesn't sound real promising for him. The Gleevec treatment did not work for him and as far as a bone marrow transplant, well, there is only 1 sister that isn't a match and he doesn't have any kids, so a "bank" is the only place he's going to get lucky. Although the chances of success diminish with a non-relative. He is continuing to work since he needs his health coverage, but the medication and treatments are incredibly expensive and he has alot of out of pocket costs. He's lucky to have his parents and an uncle and aunt that live close by to him since he lives in the "sticks" in Mississippi.

Sunday, we plan to go out for Father's Day and then try and swing over the Celina and see my husband's folks too. Hubby is lining up a trip to Canada with his brother and some friends in August and went to get his passport last weekend. So friday night they want to get together and talk about that. He just found out they will have a makeshift shower and an outhouse at the cabin their staying. He's not thrilled at that prospect, but hey it's only 4 days. When my friends and I went on an overnight pack trip one night in Montana, we had to use the "bathroom" by digging a hole and putting an old canvas "fishing" chair with a hole cut in the middle and that was your seat to go do your job. Try doing that at 3 am when it's about 45 degrees out and no lights in the mountains. You don't dilly dally.

Tonight I'll have to catch up on the quiche making to stock up for the next couple of weeks and clean the house in case the family ends up at our house during the weekend. Our cat will wonder what got into me.

Mundane

Lately, work has been a drudge. Very quiet...especially on fridays. Our production employees leave work around 10:30 am. The rest of the day, it's just the office staff and a few supervisors out in the shop we never see. Last week, I was the only one left after 3:30pm. Out of seven people, you would think someone else would stay, but no...too nice outside, personal lives get in the way of business. And as the saying goes, when the boss is away...

Since our President was on vacation for a few days last week, it is always interesting to see who finds a reason to leave. All of a sudden, people have to pick up their kids, mystery doctor's appointments, birthdays, fart in sideways, etc. Mmmmm. The only good thing about our President leaving for a few days is that he rarely does. But when he's gone, it is really, really quiet. You see, our head cheese is quite the character, very gregarious and well....loud. Doesn't like to use the intercom, shouting works just as well and is quicker. Gotta love him, but you sure know when he's gone.

Last weekend was kind of a "family" weekend so to speak. My sister in law had a party for her husband's 60th birthday party Saturday night. Beautiful night and the whole family made it along with many of our friends so it was a great time. Sunday, my brother and sister-in-law had us over for lunch since 2 of their kids were home for the weekend. Their oldest is 28, married and living in Grove City, the middle child is 26 and living in Troy and getting married next year. Don't get to see them as often anymore so it was a nice visit to catch up. Their youngest is going to OSU and had finals this week so he didn't come home. Since I don't have any kids, my brothers' kids were as close to my children as I was going to get. They grew up just a block away from my parents and a couple of blocks away from me. Seriously, the town isn't that big.

Tonight we're going to one of my favorite places...Buckhorn Tavern. My hubby and 3 of his sisters, brother-in-law and some friends. I've been looking forward to it. It's really the first "test" I've had since getting my third fill last weekend. I don't feel like I'm at my "sweet spot" yet, but getting close. I don't want to get too tight since it seems tighter in the morning already. I've been really watching what I eat this week and the results have been good. Down 4 lbs. since Saturday...after watching the scale not move basically for a week. I took a Labor Day weight loss challenge thru a forum that I am on and said I would lose 28 lbs by Labor Day. What?! 4 down, 24 to go. It will keep me motivated, even though I don't know the other fellow "bandsters" from Adam.

When I went to Cincinnati Weight Loss Center last Saturday, they were having a seminar for potential new patients. It was the first time I've seen the physician since surgery. There were about 7-8 people there and the doc was answering all their questions. I so wanted to chime in and give my 2 cents, but kept my mouth shut until someone asked about wearing an underwire bra after surgery because of the port location. She said her friend could no longer wear them after surgery, and I just nodded "yes you can". But I learned a few things listening to them and was glad I was there when other people were interested in having it done. Honestly, it's the best thing I ever done, worth every penny. I know if I wouldn't of had it done, I would weigh at least 40-50 lbs more than I do right now and be miserable and still stuggling with the Atkins diet. I haven't had any problems or complications...haven't had any "episodes" of eating too fast or taking too big of bites. I'm very happy.

I actually bought some workout CD's (like I haven't done that before) off of QVC that looked fun. Kind of hip hop...yo. Even though I don't much care for the music, I'll give this a try. It looked fun to do if I don't have 2 left feet. No George Straight on those CD's I'll bet.

Need to quit eating...

Looking forward to the weekend. Getting another fill on Saturday, which should help. I actually gained 4 lbs since last week! Graduation parties, hubby's birthday with friends, dinners out, and pizza are killing me. I don't even feel good right now, kind of like when you eat too much stuff around the holidays that you don't normally eat kind of feeling. My thyroid has been out a whack for a 6 months and the increase in Synthroid hasn't seemed to help. Hopefully, the doc can shed some light on what is going on.

Last weekend, hubby and I went out with 3 other couples for his birthday. Of all the places he could have picked, he really wanted a Bondo burger at It's It and to end up at Windy Corners for the beer selection. Really! You're kidding me! But it was fun as always when we're with our friends and had a good time. It seems so rare that we are all able to get together anymore. Usually there is at last 1 couple that can't make it when we plan something. So the evening was fun and hubby enjoyed being with his long-time friends.

We tend to hang around friends that were "his" prior to our marriage more than anyone. My hubby, always the one who is the life of the party and is the person people seem to migrate to, is someone that hangs around with friends he's had since he was in elementary school. The ones who kid him about trying to run away when he was little and standing on the corner of the block with his duffel because he wasn't allowed to cross the street. The ones that kid him about ending up in jail for a couple of days with buddies for taking things from the locker room in high school, and then for breakfast drinking their milk before they got their cereal delivered to their cell. The ones that laugh at his stupid jokes and would give you the shirt off their back and everything they own if you needed it. I inherited some really great friends.

This weekend is supposed to be positively wonderful weather and I'm really looking forward to it. Sounds like convertible weather at last. Hubby will say it's more like mulching weather. Yuck! He tells me how much he hates doing it, yet won't let me get someone to do it for us. So I suppose that will be on the agenda too this weekend. Oh well, sweat a little a get a tan. Saturday is our brother-in-law's 60th birthday party at their house. Should be fun...our friends will be there since they are really considered more like extended family than friends so that makes it better. Family functions are what they are...but at least I married into a family that all has an incredible sense of humor and enjoy each other's company. I couldn't ask for better.

Best thing about a long weekend? Short work week!

Ahhh...Memorial Day Weekend....3 consecutive days to relax, okay maybe just a day, but hey I'll take what I can get. Friday, my hubby and his brother worked at their parents house, putting in the A/C, trimming shrubs, being the good sons they are. I cleaned the main rooms of the house and fed the stray pregnant cat that lives at school who comes to our house every day. Well, now she lives in the weeds in the unsown field behind our house so she can be close to the food and water source no doubt. She's warmed up to us quite nicely. Such a lover she is. Looks just like our cat...a grey tiger, but a tad lighter and definitely rounder. Hubby likes to name to strays that come around. Hers is Gracie and the yellow/white mix is Clayboy. Clayboy keeps an eye out on Gracie when she comes over. He's very protective of her. Man have I turned into a cat person or what! Our cat, Stuey, is an indoor/outdoor cat, who has taken it upon himself to hide in the weeds too now that they are over a foot high. He chased Gracie back into the field the other night after eating. I felt sorry for her...geez, just finished eating, has by the looks of it several kittens in her belly, and having to run away from the 15 lb beast chasing her. If she only knew all she had to do was turned around and hiss at him and he'd run like the wind, she would have it made.

Saturday was my second "fill" as they say in lap band speak. The nurse put in 1 cc this time around, so apparently I'm up to 3 cc's if the doc didn't put any in during surgery. I'll have to find out from the nurse next time how much she shows in my band - then I'll know if he put some in during surgery. Scheduled another fill for 2 weeks to see if all goes well. Since it's been 3 days since the fill, I can say that I'm not able to eat as much, but as far as how long I don't get hungry - that's up in the air yet. The nurse said I lost 8 lbs in the 2 weeks since I'd seen her. I was kind of surprised because all the grad parties and going out for dinner we did the last 2 weeks. And the fact that it felt like I could way more than I should be able to. She asked for an example and I said, how about 2 scrambled eggs, 2 pieces of bacon, 1 bite of hash browns, 6 bites of french toast, and about 2-3 oz. of fresh fruit. She understood. I also told her that I lost 4 lbs in the 2 days after I last saw her and that my body can retain water pretty easily. My hubby's buddy and I always comment that we could go out for beer and pizza and weigh 6 lbs more the next day.

After the fill, I could swallow water fine, it gurgled a bit and the nurse said it sounded like a good fill. I stayed on liquids the rest of the day, soup from Panera Bread that night and wasn't hungry at all. We did some shopping after the fill and went to Jungle Jim's later in the afternoon. Stocked up on all the important stuff...cheese for me, hot sauce and beer for the hubby. We had some friends from Celina pop in to see us that were attending a grad party in our town. We don't get a chance to see them very often so it was nice to visit. Lisa kind of hinted that she would like to see the rest of the house, but quite frankly I didn't clean the whole thing friday night and was up at 6am that morning so our bedroom and bathroom was not very clean. So I didn't offer to show her around.

By Sunday, I could eat solids fine. I spoke with my sister last night and she is having a bit of trouble with the sliming and has vomited a couple of times. But she says she knows she's been eating too fast and that's what is causing it. I hope that's all it is.

Sunday, I went to visit my folks for awhile and fixed their computer. Dad had spent the last 2 days visiting 17 cemetaries with the Legion members placing flags beside their graves and was pooped. Most of the Legion members are from WWII or the Korean War in our area and are getting up in years. So it's quite a chore for them. The rest of the day was ours to spend being lazy, watching a movie, the Indy 500, etc. Monday, we took my in-laws to place flowers on the graves of their parents and step-parent. We drove to Burkettsville, Wilshire and Ohio City and then went to the truck stop on Rt 33 (whew hoo!) to have lunch. Actually, it was good - just not what where I expect to go on Memorial Day. I prayed for all the soldiers who have fought and continue to fight in order for us to have the life we do in this country. We are all truly blessed to live here.

Springtime!!

This past week my hubby and I spent most of our time searching for the perfect hanging baskets and flowers for the house, and of course, the tomato and pepper plants for the garden. We are really so much alike...we both buy way more stuff than we really need when it comes to planting, but just can't help ourselves. I mean really, how many tomato plants do you need when only 1 person in the house eats them? 1...maybe 2? Oh no, we have 10! I go to a garden center and I feel like I have to buy every single hanging basket that I think is beautiful. Doesn't matter if they "coordinate", are sun or shade baskets, nah, I'll find a place for them. Then I start to think in late July what a dumba** I was for getting all these flowers. Every night, water, water, water. I must be a bit slow.

We had an enjoyable weekend spent with friends. 2 Graduation parties in Celina - 1 Saturday, 1 Sunday. We are able to check in with my hubby's folks to see how they were doing and spend time with our friends, which always goes way too fast.

Last Thursday afternoon, I took off work to take my Mom to Lima to get some "hair". She's had super thin hair for so long and when I mentioned my mother-in-law just purchased a hair piece, she was interested. So Thursday it was in and she had to get it cut and colored along with what's left of her hair. She does look alot better...it's just really different to see her with hair after no long. I know she'll have to get used to it herself. Dad just kept looking at her and snickering...which didn't help matters any since it was his idea in the first place. I think she looked good. But after spending a couple of long days with her this past week, I can tell she's really slowing down. I'm certainly not ready for the inevitable any time soon.

Tomorrow is kind of an anniversary of sorts, it will be my 23 year work anniversary at the company I work for. Wow, so much has changed during that time, and yet, so little. All I know is, time is starting to fly way too fast these days.

Hubby and I are headed back to West Chester on Saturday for my second fill. I can already tell it is much more loose than after the first fill. I get hungry after about 3 hours on the nose, instead of the 4 - 5 it should be. I can also eat a bit more than I should be able to eat. The nurse mentioned is usually takes 3-6 fills to get to that "sweet spot", so we'll be headed there a couple more times in the near future. I'm still loosing a little weight, but it is going slow. But in all honesty with the grad parties and going out to eat lately, I haven't been eating the best after getting all my protein in. Summer can be really difficult for me. Luckily, my husband and I both like to walk in the evening so that should help get us out of the kitchen.

We're both really looking forward to the long weekend...

First fill experience...

I've been commiserating with my sister lately about enjoying the hell out of my "honeymoon" week...the week I get of solid food before my first fill. Hubby and I went out to dinner several times and to be honest, all the food I consumed wasn't exactly dietary but hey, this may be the last time for several of the items I had so I was going for it. Besides, I wasn't able to eat the same amount I could before so the scale only went up 1 1/2 lbs since my post op.

Saturday was the first fill in my lap band. One of the women there said I had a "small" band, whatever size that means. After speaking with the nurse about any questions I had, the volume of food I could consume, what to do in terms of proteins, exercise, amount of food I should be able to eat after the correct amount of saline is in the band, she went to work.

I really didn't have much anxiety about getting the first fill...granted I don't much care for needles, but I really hate being fat even more. I had to lay down on the table and try to raise my feet without bending my knees so she could feel my port. Then she put in 2 1/2 cc's into the band and had me sit up and drink some water. It really is like a pin prick and goes so fast - less than 5 seconds. When I tried to drink water though, it felt like it was just sitting at the base of my throat and wouldn't go down. Then it would kind of gurgle a little. Odd feeling, kind of like when you drink a carbonated beverage and you have an air bubble in your throat that just sits there for a bit. Anyway, she said I was most likely a little too full and then went in and withdrew 1/2 cc. That was much better! Had to drink a Dixie cup full of water, then I was off. I'm officially restricted!

The rest of the day I drank water and ate soup for dinner, then a little cottage cheese in the evening since I needed a shot of protein. On Mother's Day, one of the booster clubs at the local high school had chicken dinners for takeout, so that was what we had at my brother's house. I was able to eat the chicken - no problem! Even though it was a little dry, I just really chewed the heck out of it. Even had a small slice of ice cream cake - Yeah! So far - I haven't had one thing that has given me a problem. Right now, I can eat about 5 1/4 ounces of food and then I'm full. Full isn't really stuffed to the gills full, it's just the feeling like if I eat another bite, I'm going to re-live it. I'm thinking I really like this band!

I have another fill scheduled for May 23rd, which probably won't be much at all if I had to guess. The nurse mentioned it can take 3-6 fills before you hit your sweet spot of losing 1 1/2 to 2 lbs per week. Heck, I lost 5 lbs from Saturday to Monday! Makes you wish you could lose at that rate every 2 days - heck I'd be in good shape by the end of the summer!

Didn't get to go to Ribfest on Saturday, we didn't get back from West Chester/Fairfield until after 9pm. It's such a nice area with alot of neat shops that even my hubby likes to go to. So we made a day of it. Too many graduation parties this weekend anyway.

Getting better...

Things seems to be better this week. My father-in-law was released from the hospital on Saturday after a week. He's so much better than when he went in. Apparently, at this point they are just going to treat the symptoms as they occur. My dad goes for an endoscopy Friday and I'm hoping for the best. My sister is worried it might be something serious...the nurse in her tends to bring out her paranoia at times. I took the day off friday so I can take him...mom doesn't see too well in the dark, and frankly, her driving skills leave much to be desired. Ever since I was 16, it didn't matter if it was her car or mine, it is always assumed when it's just the 2 of us, I'm driving. Period. I need my sanity. In the afternoon, I'm taking mom to find a hairpiece or wig or something to cover that fluff on her head called hair. Gold star for me on Friday.

This weekend should be interesting if the weather holds out. Thursday night it's a Dayton Dragons game (never been to one) with friends. Saturday, I get my first fill...then it's off to the Ribfest hopefully. Not that I'll be able to eat...but the bands scheduled to play are great and we should see quite a few people we know there. Never know what the weekends may hold. A little flower planting, weed pulling, stray cat feeding, hanging out with the hubby. Normal stuff...the good stuff. Never forget that.

Eventful week

The scale finally moved...after almost 2 weeks. That in and of itself seems like a major feat. Maybe it's the banana-peanut butter smoothies I've been making every morning I don't know. But after awhile, you need to mix it up otherwise those protein shakes are tough to get down.

Saturday, the hubby and I were planning on doing our putzing around...shopping, lunch, take a walk, enjoy the day kind of thing when his sister called and said my dad's watch was ready for pickup. They are in the jewelry business and dad's been wanting his watch, so we went up to the store to pick it up and went to see his folks. His dad wasn't feeling well and we ended up taking him to the E/R in the afternoon. As of today (Wednesday), he's still in there. My sister-in-law called me this morning and told me they found a tumor in his bladder...not good. They removed most of it, but 90% of the time it's malignant. He was a 50-60 year smoker and the environment he worked in probably added to his chances of getting bladder cancer - on top of the emphysema he already has. He told the hospital and his physician he doesn't want any "heroic" measures taken. I just pray he doesn't suffer more that he already does. He's such a great guy...funny, funny man. He was asked a ton of questions by the nurse in charge of admissions...like "Are you hard of hearing?"...What? "Are you hard of hearing? In typical Jack style, "Well, I've got a turd in each ear and can't hear for shit". Still has the sense of humor that guy. My hubby gets it honestly.

After returning from the hospital, we celebrated a friend's birthday with carryout and a fire on the back patio of our friends/in-laws house. More so for me since the whole mushie diet thing is throwing a crimp into any dining out plans right now. But the evening was enjoyable and I'm sure Kevin just appreciated the fact that we got together for his birthday.

My nephew and his wife had a miscarriage just after letting everyone know they were expecting their first. And my very ill Uncle Francis passed away Monday after a tough battle with cancer. I hope things start to calm down soon. All the family drama can get to be a bit much. You pray for all and be sympathetic, but try not to dwell on the negative too much.

Post-op appt

This warm sunny morning, I drove down to West Chester for my post-op appointment. By now, the left shoulder pain is pretty well contained...it just flares up at night for a couple of hours. My port site is still sore, even more so today when I tried to get up at 3 am and pee and the cat was between my legs in bed. Trying to maneuver around so I don't disturb the cat (really), I felt like I pulled every stitch near my port. And then the cat gets up anway. Really, what did I expect?

I have lost 14 lbs so far and the nurse seemed very pleased. My incisions were very well healed and everything looked good. She cautioned me not to be concerned if I gain a couple of lbs. before my first fill since there is no restriction at this point. She also wants me to eat until I feel full after I get on solid foods so she can guage how much saline to put in my band. I told her I have only been eating 4 - 6 oz of food at a time every 3-4 hours purposely to keep from getting hungry. I'm going to try like hell not to gain weight during this next 2 weeks. I've gained and lost the same 20-30 lbs so many times I'm tired of seeing the same numbers over and over again!

The drive back was great! First really warm day of the year so I could have the top down on the convertible and the wind in my hair and listen to some Kenny Chesney and I was happy as a clam! Until I had to be back at work at noon. So much for enjoying a nice sunny afternoon. These days, hardly any phone calls, all production personnel are gone by 11 am and there was only about 4 of us in the office today...so the afternoon went very slow.

I've spent some time reading different forums recently and I have to say that in some ways it's really great to know there are people that live close by that are in the same boat you're in, but then again, there are a few people that post that you just want to blast. No real reason they're posting, all negative comments, ragging on physicians they have never met, criticizing people because their opinions and decisions differ from their own, and generally being a downer. Get a life and go away!

Looking forward to the weekend. It's supposed to be great weather, in the low 80's and sunny thru Monday! Tonight the plan is to relax around home and tidy up a bit, tomorrow the hubby and I are going to hang out and piss the day away...take the convertible, do some light shopping, have lunch at a little cafe' and try to get to where we decide to go without taking interstate or reading a map or using the GPS. Love those days. We have no particular plans for the weekend..so whatever it brings should be good!

April 20th

Already Monday.....ugh. Seemed like no weekend at all. Friday night I went to the Grand Opening of the nearest Social Security office to support my sister-in-law, even though I wasn't feeling very well. Hubby said he would rather have a rectal exam than go, so I went right after work. He had a checkup anyway and would have been rushing to get back, so it was for the best. Saturday, Mom and I went to see my cousin, Jayne, in Carmel IN. She looked really good even though she said she had a tough week. She still has 4 1/4 months to go in chemo treatment, then when her white blood cell count is back up, she will have bypass.

Mom mostly talked to Jayne and I mostly spoke with her husband, which was fine, he is great and very intelligent, but not in a "I know everything" kind of way. I could tell when we verged on politics we weren't going to see eye to eye so I tried to stay away from the subject. We looked at wedding pics, both hers and mine. My hubby and I got married in 2005 and I still haven't ordered any enlargements...all I have are proofs. I guess when you get married in your early 40's it doesn't seem as important to have your wedding pic plastered on the wall. Jayne's been married since 1983. We were in each other's weddings and shared some great memories. My wedding was the only one she was ever in since she went off and spent 6 years in the Navy after high school when most of her friends were getting married. Even though she grew up in Michigan and I in Ohio, we really tried to remain close when we were growing up. She is truly such a wonderful person. It's really difficult to see her having to go through this and really it is just beginning for her.

My hubby went to his Mom & Dad's to plant potatoes, onions, etc. on Saturday with his brother and then went visiting friends for most of the day. We live about 30 miles from his hometown of Celina and we go there almost every weekend, sometimes multiple times, to visit. That's where most of this family lives and our really close friends. So during the week, it's pretty much just us and our cat. We live such a sheltered life during the week...we both work and live in the same town and really don't venture too far during the week.

I have to say the best days are the ones that are the least planned. Once in awhile we'll go to Celina, visit his folks, check on some friends and find nobody really has any plans that day and then all of the sudden all 4 couples are sitting in a local watering hole trying all the new beers out and then cooking out, or going to a restaurant or sitting by a fire and before you know it, it's about 1 am and we've been gone all day (with every intention of being home by 2pm). Love those days...

Yesterday the highlight of our day was driving down to Englewood and going to the massive Kroger's to see what different things we can find. Not too much fun when you're still on the mushies but a cool place none the less. I've had such a fierce pain in my left shoulder this weekend and really nursed the heating pad. Chewed on Gas-X and Motrin to try and take the edge off, but damn it can really throb. Short of standing on my head for a few days, I'm not sure what else I can do to get that gas out of my shoulder. The area around my port is still really tender and the steristrips are starting to peel away. I'm just tired of not feeling that great. Sorry....kind of grumpy.

Hump day

Ahhh, the joy that the work week is half over. This week has creeped by way too slowly, probably because I still have that nagging pain under my "cap" of my shoulder (you can tell I'm not in the medical field I'll bet). The place where I "think" my port is, I say that because I can't feel it, is more sore than the rest, but definitely bearable. I'm still getting up 2 hours early for work to get the heating pad on my shoulder and warm up a little bit since I'm a little more sore and stiff in the mornings, but I feel pretty good considering. I've lost all my post-surgery weight so I know the swelling is subsiding. Yesterday, I had heartburn so bad during the latter part of the day and I don't know why. I didn't really eat much yesterday, but the gas and the chest pain were irritating to say the least.

Can't wait til Friday when I can finally have some "mushies". I told hubby that I'm going to have a couple of spoonfuls of mashed potatoes since that is what sounds so good right now. Getting pretty tired of the protein shakes and soup. I have to pick up a few groceries tonight so I'll enjoy getting a few new different things.

I lined up a massage tomorrow night on my shoulders to try and give that gas a little help finding it's way out. Saturday, I'm hoping my mom and I will be able to see my cousin in Indiana and see how she is getting along. I have to call her today and see if that works into her schedule.

Hubby and his brother are going to be putting out their mom's garden Saturday so it will be a good day to go if it works out.

The doc told me that he will do my first fill in 4 weeks which puts it at the first week of May. I'm not sure what to expect even though I've been reading the forums like crazy. Sounds like it is different for everyone.

Sis and I have alot of good things to look forward to. Her son is getting married this fall, and my goddaughter just got engaged this past weekend and is getting married sometime next spring. Both her and her hubby are going on a fishing trip with us this summer at a cabin in Wisconsin. Should be fun. Last year, we spent a week in Maine and LOVED it! What a trip! But can't do that every year...it was an expensive vacation, but well worth it!

Better scoot, lots to do today...

It's OVER!!!

Let's see...today is Monday. Had surgery on Friday morning at 7:30 am. Everything went very well and Dr. Watkins seemed to be very pleased. Apparently, I also had a hiatal hernia that he repaired while inserting and positioning the band. I was in recovery by 8:30, and leaving for home by 10:30 am. Home by 11:45 am. Amazing. The ride home wasn't even bad.

Friday I was very comfortable...no nausea (they did a wonderful job keeping that in control), only tenderness at the incisions but even then it was minor due to the numbing medication they used during the procedure. I was up and down every couple of hours since anesthesia makes me really drowsy. Dr. Watkins called around 5pm on friday to check up on me and hubby told him everything was good. I can't say enough good things about Dr. Watkins and University Pointe Surgical Hospital for their professionalism and care. What a great group of people. Hubby was impressed too. Very attentive, I met with everyone on the surgical team and post-op was a breeze. I don't know why I had anxiety over it. Even the needle in the hand wasn't bad.

Now - on to Saturday....oh Mother!!!! I have to tell you, for about 10-12 hours there I was absolutely miserable. One of the possible side effects of the surgery is gas pains and referred pain in the shoulder area. I got it in spades. Both shoulders, neck, upper chest. Wow. I told hubby it only hurts when I breathe and when I swallow. What a relief when I could actually fart! That took a few hours, but when it finally came I could rival any that my husband could dish out!

The hospital called Saturday night to check on me and by that time I felt much better, just the referred pain in the shoulders. I pretty much had a heating pad on my shoulders all weekend since the throbbing could really get bad. The loritab elixir didn't really do anything for the pain, so I switched to Motrin this morning and it's much better.

Sunday and today are better yet. Still shoulder pain, tenderness at the incisions as expected, but much better than Saturday. I came back to work today and just took my time getting ready to get the stiffness out. Not bad at all.

If it wasn't for the shoulder pain, I would say that the pain from the actual procedure is very minor. It's a little uncomfortable getting in and out of bed, but hey, I've got 5 slits in my abdomen, what do you expect?

I'm on liquids for another week until I progress to mushy/soft foods for 2 weeks. But in all honesty, you don't feel much like eating at this point. Although my stomach seems to be making all kinds of noises these days. It's amazing how you can gain 6 1/2 lbs in a single day from surgery. Hopefully, the swelling and the pains will subside in a few days and that will come off. I'm going to try and keep my caloric intake around 900-1000 calories this week and keep my protein up to heal properly and not gain anything while I'm recooperating. But I'm very pleased with the surgery and at this point and so glad the worst is over.

Day before surgery

Been reading different blogs today, getting recipes, reviewing pre-op notes and making a list of things to bring. My procedure is outpatient and I'm the first of the day so I should be home early afternoon. We just have to get up around 4 am to drive to the hospital...ugh! The whole pre-op liquid diet thing hasn't been bad. I won't say I would want to do it again, but it's tolerable. The protein shakes help...more so than broth or soup, and the sugar-free popsicles help to take the edge off. If I got hungry, I just got busy. Hubby and I would go to the "Y", or walk around the park. It helps to exercise the stomach when you're hungry, then you don't feel like eating! In all honesty, I just want to get the surgery over and done with and begin the journey.

Sis went in for a follow up this morning and said she felt like she went back to work too early. The doc gave her hell. She also got to start soft foods and had cottage cheese and said it felt like a 5-course meal. With no restriction, hmmmm, she must be pretty swollen. Her first fill is scheduled for April 29th, so she has something to look forward to.

Easter is Sunday, and both the hubby and my family is having get-togethers. We'll try to go to my side if I feel okay...only because they are closer and it would be easy to leave if I need to.

I guess my only concern for the surgery at this point is the anesthesia...I don't tolerate it particularly well. Then there is the stick in the hand that usually sets me off. Yes, I'm a candy ass when it comes to the poke in the hand. I can give blood like nobody's business, but stick me in the hand and I'm likely to go into orbit. I keep telling myself...mind over matter. Seems like it doesn't quite work when there is pain involved. Food - no problem, pain - give me drugs.

Lazy Sunday...

Hubby and I are relaxing today, just doing laundry, maintenance on the hot tub, reading the papers, TV, catching up with my sis, watching Y&R...all the mundane things that help keep life on an even keel.

Friday night was fun, Paul Thorn was great (as always). Saturday night, spent some time with friends at their house, them eating chili while we watched the Final 4 games of March Madness. Go Michigan State! Wow, did I say that? Some die-hard Buckeyes hate all things Michigan, but hey, General Mills ain't General Motors, and Michigan State ain't UM. Like their coach, intense, well respected. You go Izzo!

Sis called me today...feeling much better! The band seems to be a little tight in the morning for her. She can only sip, and she says jello absolutely fills her up. I told her about the Unjury powder, so it sounds like she might try it. It's a life saver for me!

I feel like I'm in the final stretch. I continue to lose little by little, so the doc should be happy with me on that front. And if you don't count the small bits of chicken in cream of chicken soup as cheating, I haven't cheated at all on the liquid diet.

This week should fly by. The person that works with me is off on vacation tomorrow and quite possibly Tuesday, so doing 2 jobs keeps me way too busy, but the time goes fast and I won't be able to even think about my stomach, so it will be good.

Sis and I are dreaming of the day when we can power shop together for some "fun" clothes. Seems like we've both been wearing clothes that our Mom would wear for years. Time to wear something more fun and feel good about it. We are both so ready to shine! Her son will be getting married, most likely sometime this fall or winter, so there is alot to look forward to.

I've told a few close friends I'm having the surgery. They understand. I'm so much happier when I feel like I look like everybody else and blend in. You know how when you go to a wedding and everybody's dancing, but you don't want to because you think 'I don't want everybody looking at me, or don't want all the blubber to be moving around long after you stopped moving'. Some situations I would rather do without. And frankly, I'm getting to the point where I'd rather dance. Motivation is not an issue for me at this point. I'm there. Just want to get the operation over with and move on. Next!