Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Beginning

I have struggled with my weight for most of my adult life. In high school, I was maybe 15-20 lbs overweight (looking back now at pics I think I looked pretty good!). In college, that's when things went incredibly out of control. Heard of the "freshmen 15"? How 'bout the freshmen 40? That's right! And it just kept piling on after that. By the time I graduated, I was around 220 lbs and miserable. I've never had trouble losing weight when I put my mind to it...losing 50 lbs, 90 lbs, 85 lbs, 136 lbs. The problem was, it never stayed off. I never maintained any weight for any significant amount of time. And I don't have to go on to anyone about how you feel when you're gaining back weight that took so long and so much energy to get off. Let's just say you pretty much hate yourself because of your lack of control.

Fast forward 20+ years. After losing at least 300 lbs from various diets over the years and gaining almost everything back, I decided to have the lap band surgery. I've been contemplating it for about a year in my head. One of the guys that works in the business next to my employer had lap band about 2 months ago and had nothing but great things to say about it and the place he had the surgery. He amazingly gave up smoking, chewing, and about a 10-12 a day Mountain Dew habit all at once along with having the surgery and has had incredible success. What an inspiration he has become and a great motivator I must admit.

My sister (who is 5 years older than me) had been also thinking about having the surgery for some time and due to insurance reasons, had to jump through some hoops to be able to get it covered. Finally, she told me in February that she is scheduled for surgery on March 31st where she lives. That was really all I needed to hear to let me know it was time for me too.

My greatest motivation for having the surgery is our family history. We have a strong incidence of diabetes on both sides of the family, along with a host of other serious medical conditions...heart disease (both parents), high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and the list goes on.

At 44 years of age, I feel it really is about time I took some control over my weight and my health. This is the part of my life where I feel that I've failed. And it has affected so much and been so much of an issue in my life that I want it to stop.

So, this past Tuesday, I called the place where the guy next door, Jeff, had his surgery. My consultation was Thursday! Wow! Things were happening fast!

I can't tell you how excited I was when driving down to the weight loss center. After making the decision to have the surgery...soon is not soon enough when you know you're about to change your life! I met with the counselor, the physician, the nurse, and the insurance coordinator (almost 4 hours)! After finding out I was a great candidate for the surgery (no diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol...just hypothyroidism), they agreed to schedule the surgery for April 10th! Since I'm a "self-pay" patient (my insurance won't cover a dime), the surgery has no reason to be delayed.

My husband, bless his heart, told me he would stand behind any decision I made if I felt like this was what I needed. That was all I needed to hear...he is incredibly supportive, caring, and a great motivator. I couldn't ask for a better partner in my life. He said we would find a way to pay for the surgery and he was even willing to help me pay for it. For many reasons, this has to be my burden to bear.

I have to say that since I met my husband in December of 2003, my life changed forever. He has made me be a better person and filled many voids in my life. I was single for a long time and while I could get very lonely, was okay with being single, but really wanted to find a partner in life. When he came along, everything fell into place.

But I must add as a side note, that when I met my husband, I was at 164 lbs...the smallest since high school. By the time we got married, I was around 210 lbs. At my highest, 300 lbs - not once, but twice! Once after my marriage, and once in 2001.

My husband loves me no matter what I weigh, but I know he is concerned about my health and really is supportive when I'm on various diets...making me only my "protein", keeping junk foods I love out of the house, pushing me to go on a walk or to the "Y" when I feel like a slug. He also knows how bad I feel about myself when I'm gaining weight and hates how it tends to play with my emotions and makes me want to stop doing things that we enjoy.

On March 27th, I start my liquid diet for 14 days before the surgery. I loaded up on the Atkins shakes at Wally World (on sale!) and various beverages. I'm supposed to keep the calories around 800/day during this pre-surgery phase. My sister started her phase 2 days ago...I'm sure by now she could eat wood. I know we will be great motivators for each other. I have an amazing supportive family, in-laws included. I'm looking forward to this journey. Can't wait to get into those size 10 jeans I still have from 2003! I feel like I have alot of things to look forward to. I can't wait to get started! (Remember I said that when I'm in my second week of liquid dieting)!

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