Sunday, March 13, 2011

End of life...

My father in law is dying. A slow, painful agonizing death. In nursing home stints, it's been rather a quick descent. But to watch...it's been downright wretching to see.

The change is palpable every time we see him. Hubby has been there 5x this week. Yesterday, we stopped by...only to see him naked in a diaper halfway out of his bed. Not a picture anyone should see. Hubby can't remember a time when he ever saw his dad without an undershirt...let alone like that. I stepped out so hubby could put the sheet over him and get someone to help pull him up in the bed. He is no longer eating or drinking, and his oxygen is off since the last time he was lucid he motioned 'no more'.

I hate to talk in the past tense about someone still "living", but what is going on with him isn't living and what he is right know isn't what he used to be.

Jack was a wonderful man. Full of wit and someone who knew how rich he was....and I'm not talking financially. He would speak to Norma with such love in his voice and their interaction with each other was playful and caring. All of his children inherited his wit and charm and my hubby can hold court with the best of them in terms of making people laugh....he got that from Jack. My hubby and Jack are the only 2 people that have made my dad belly laugh in the last 10 years. He is a pretty serious guy, but those 2 could always tickle his funny bone some how.

I knew from the very first time I met this family a little over 7 years ago that they were special. It was at Jack's birthday party and the house was full of laughter and lightheartedness. You could tell these people sincerely loved each other and enjoyed being around each other. Something that isn't always the case with family get-togethers. They welcomed me so easily in their family. Jack mentioned to me just 2 weeks ago how special I was and how I was like another daughter to him. That was the last real conversation we had. He no longer recognizes anyone and is a shell of the man he used to be. But luckily he did recognize his daughter on Thursday after she came home from China after 3 weeks. At least she will have that. We all thought he waited to die so he could see Jeannie again. Now it's a matter of days.

So our time hasn't been ours for awhile and it's not something I want to continually blog about. But any prayers at this point are welcomed.

God bless all of you.

3 comments:

  1. Awful situation for you all, Jack sounds like a very special man. Praying that his passing is quick and painless.

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  2. So sorry! How tragic. He sounds like a wonderful man.

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  3. We went through this with my mom last year (lung cancer), and it's not prety. Believe it or not i didn't even cry when she died, and when I tried to figure out why, I realized it was because the person in that hospital bed was not my mother. I had already said good bye to her. So, I know what you mean by talking about him in the past tense. It's not easy. My thoughts are with you during this very painful time.

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