Goal!

This morning I did my usual routine. Wake up, put in my contacts, go tinkle, and then step on the scale. Well today was THE DAY! 150. Step off, step back on...150. Do it again...150. I knew if I put a camera in my hand the damn thing would read 150.5 so no picture here.

I e-mailed my surgeon this morning thanking him and his staff for all of their encouragement, support and efforts in getting me to where I am. He replied that I should get something to signify my achievement....like a diamond or something else incredibly expensive that I don't even remember. Since that is out of the question, I went to the mall this evening and looked around for something. After an hour, I came up with 3 tubes of hand cream from B&B. I really realized that I have everything I need and sure I have "wants" but, being practical at this point, didn't have anything I felt like spending money on. So I thought about the SHRM conference in September I'm going to and bought an outfit to wear for the conference. The pants look awesome and actually do make me look really nice. Something about seeing myself in a 3-way mirror kind of gives me a better idea of what I look like and I liked what I saw. For once, both my jacket and pants were a size 8. Another goal. Getting clothes in single digits. Doesn't even have to be all of them. But having a few and they fit well, that's hard to beat.

I felt very blessed to be where I'm at. I have to thank my wonderful husband for his support as well. He has been encouraging all the way, even when he had his doubts initially. He's also lost 25 lbs from both of us pushing each other to exercise. He has made this journey with me together and endured all of the plateaus, doubts, fears, periods of frustration and struggles at times. I am forever grateful to have him in my life.

I'm thinking about continuing to track my calories, weight and exercise for a few more weeks and see if maybe 5 more lbs lost can be a reality. I'd really like to see 150 at the doctor's office the next time I go, but I don't think they would appreciate it if I would strip naked in the hallway to see it. Then I will officially be 1/2 the person I used to be.

It's amazing how my overall outlook has changed since beginning this journey. I used to just kind of muddle through the day, not particularly happy and pretty disgusted with myself. Now I am better able to handle anything thrown at me, and like what I see when I look in the mirror. Sure I have saggy skin and my legs will never win any prizes at the fair, but I'm okay with that. One of my bosses today asked if I have reconsidered my decision not to have any cosmetic surgery done (we've talked about this before). I told him as much as I would like to get rid of it, that the 4-6 week recovery period, the cost, and the chance of complications or worse is something I'm not willing to put myself through. I'm happy now. I will never be perfect, but I never was and don't expect to be. I'll look at them as my battle scars and do what I can to minimize them. But what I'm able to do and how I feel right now is enough. Life is sweet!