One thing about being banded that has come up (or failed to come out) is constipation. Wow, when I get it, it takes softeners, laxatives, and sometimes (as hubby calls it) the TNT sticks to help things along. Then, if that isn't enough the ole hemorrhoids rear their ugly heads and make life miserable for a few days. Well, here I was lying in bed last Tuesday and thought, why is it so painful "down there". Haven't had a trouble of late. Then when I was taking my shower in the morning I felt a fairly large lump near the poop shoot and was a little concerned to say the least. Something different, something internal. The more I sat at my desk the more worse it hurt. So after a call to the doc's office (at least I got the female NP) to check out the "problem" and the prodding that ensued...very uncomfortable I might add...she said it seemed to be a cyst and said she would try and get me over to a surgeon's office right away. Huh?
Okay, so about an hour later I'm in with the surgeon and lo and behold he is going to drain this thing right now. By this time I've forgotten all of my inhibitions and have no qualms about showing my hind end to anyone. Well, the Mennonite nurse forewarned me that the numbing meds don't really work down there very well. Hell the shot itself (picture in your mind getting a shot about 1/2" from the poop shoot) was about to send me into orbit. Then he proceeded to make an incision and I yelled "good God" and immediately felt horrible with the nurse standing there. I'm glad that is all that came out. Then went in some instrument as I'm taking long deep breaths and then the packing strip he placed inside as I'm trying not to embarrass myself too much. But by this time I'm shaking, then come the cold sweats and the woosh in my ears and yep, I'm ready to pass out. I tell the nurse to not wake me up until he's done if I do, but no such luck. The nurse gave me smelling salts...a good healthy dose actually. That's the longest I've felt like passing out when I didn't do the deed. And I can count the number of times I've passed out on one hand in my life. After about 10 minutes later, I'm finally with it enough to leave the office. The bottom feeling definitely better, me not as well. Watch me meet up with that doc again in the grocery store or something. Wonder if he'll remember my "face"?